Pellsons Perceivings

[NARSES2]

Vikings, you know. Trustworthy since 793 AD.  Just ask the good people of Lindisfarne... 

Once you start reading up on Anglo-Viking history I'm not sure which side was the most trustworthy 

[zenrat]

If they looked anything like Katheryn Winnick i'd trust Vikings completely...

[Rheged]

Given that I'm Cumbrian and Madame R is from South East Yorkshire, we've probably both got the odd Viking gene or two in our make-up. We both try to be pleasant and  trustworthy....


......even when dealing with cold callers who ring from India to tell us that Microsoft has identified a problem that they  need access to our  computer to solve.

[PR19_Kit]

......even when dealing with cold callers who ring from India to tell us that Microsoft has identified a problem that they  need access to our  computer to solve.

Aren't they SO irritating? And so very easy to see through as well. The first mention of an IP address and they're GONE! 

[Rheged]

......even when dealing with cold callers who ring from India to tell us that Microsoft has identified a problem that they  need access to our  computer to solve.

Aren't they SO irritating? And so very easy to see through as well. The first mention of an IP address and they're GONE! 

I'm sure that we all have our ways of dealing with this annoyance.
 
Both my mother and mother in law, who are both  reasonably tech savvy despite being in their mid 90's, both use the " I'm just a little old lady who doesn't have a computer"  ploy, whereas my little sister (a recently retired head of modern languages) starts off in very broken English, before lapsing into Russian, Ukrainian or rapid idiomatic Breton  with any cold call.

 I was chatting to one of my neighbours about this problem recently.   Maieva, who speaks beautifully enunciated English, tells me she lapses into her native Roumanian  if she doesn't recognise a caller. 

Before I retired, a chap I worked with was born and brought up in Delhi (his father was Indian army)  used to respond to these calls in Hindi; he told me he'd had several pleasant chats about the weather in Hyderabad and Bangalore.

How do YOU respond?

[PR19_Kit]

At one time I had a 2nd phone line at home, for my work router, and it was ex-directory, but it had a hand set so that Head Office could call me directly if need be. It also had an optional scrambler on it................. 

I got VERY few calls on that handset of course, and I usually knew they were coming in advance, but on one occasion I got one of THOSE calls on it, goodness knows where they got the number from though. As I wasn't expecting the call I guessed it was one of 'those' ones and answered accordingly......

Me : Area 53, speak!

Caller: Er, I want to speak to Mr. Spackman please

Me : Pass code?

Caller : Er, I don't have one.....

Me (Sternly) : Do you know where this phone is connected to?

Caller : Er, no........................

Me : This is a secure line and should NEVER be called by unauthorised personnel! Do you understand?

Caller (squeakily) : Yes..............
 
Me : Forget you EVER called this number and delete it from your records, understand?

Caller : Yes...........

Plunk. Phone goes down. 

That was the ONLY non-work call I ever got on that  line, 

[Rick Lowe]

At one time I had a 2nd phone line at home, for my work router, and it was ex-directory, but it had a hand set so that Head Office could call me directly if need be. It also had an optional scrambler on it................. 

I got VERY few calls on that handset of course, and I usually knew they were coming in advance, but on one occasion I got one of THOSE calls on it, goodness knows where they got the number from though. As I wasn't expecting the call I guessed it was one of 'those' ones and answered accordingly......

Me : Area 53, speak!

Caller: Er, I want to speak to Mr. Spackman please

Me : Pass code?

Caller : Er, I don't have one.....

Me (Sternly) : Do you know where this phone is connected to?

Caller : Er, no........................

Me : This is a secure line and should NEVER be called by unauthorised personnel! Do you understand?

Caller (squeakily) : Yes..............
 
Me : Forget you EVER called this number and delete it from your records, understand?

Caller : Yes...........

Plunk. Phone goes down. 

That was the ONLY non-work call I ever got on that  line, 

Ooh, I like that, and must try to remember it.
Very well played! 

And Mr Pellson, keep up with the positive attitude, there's a theory that it helps in the battle.
Hope you keep going as long as you can. 

[Pellson]

I'm fervently trying to clear my combined home office (no, not THAT home office  ) and hobby desk in anticipation of less work due to sick leave and more modelling due to sick leave. I hope the mojo stays.

As for survival - I'll be harassing you all for the next 20 years to come, so I might even add to the stash. 

[Nick]

As for survival - I'll be harassing you all for the next 20 years to come, so I might even add to the stash. 

Now that there's fighting talk! 

[zenrat]

One can always answer "this is the police.  We are investigating Mr <insert your name here>'s whereabouts.  When did you last see him alive?"

[Rheged]

One can always answer "this is the police.  We are investigating Mr <insert your name here>'s whereabouts.  When did you last see him alive?"

I really must try that one! 

Little sister has recently had several people ringing her asking for Mr Armstrong.   She tells me that the next time someone asks "Can I speak to Mr Armstrong"  her answer will be "Only if you have a Ouija board handy"!   That should give them pause for thought.

[PR19_Kit]

The late Mrs_Pr19 used to answer 'British Rail timetable enquiries, how can I help you?' in a very cheery voice. 

All her friends knew in advance of course, but it fended off many of 'those' calls.

[TheChronicOne]

Hmmm... familiar territory. I got into the habit of answering unknown numbers in Spanish then I could pretend not to speak English and hang up on them. Potential problem could be bilingual person on the other side. Sometimes I instantly answer and start hollering about the money they owe me. Once I know that they are wasting my time, I say, "HEY YOU GOT THAT MONEY YOU OWE ME??!?!?"  When you ask THEM for money it throws them off their game. Last time dude actually asked me how much he owed me, I was thinking on the fly and said "Three dollars, fifty cents."      Of course, now, the preferred method is to just screen calls and I figure if it's not important enough to leave a message about then I don't want anything to do with it.

[Rick Lowe]

One I heard was to answer with "It's done, but there's blood everywhere!"

[zenrat]

When living in Croydon I used to answer "Battersea Dogs Home".  That threw a few people.

I must admit now I just let them go to answerphone.  Anyone who matters knows not to ring the land line or at least to send me an SMS before they do.  Every so often i'll play back all the recorded incoming messages.  It's very satisfying hearing a whole run of scammers going "hello?  hello?  hello?".