Confession Of A Perfectionist Modeller

[John Howling Mouse]

Was breezing through various builds on these forums and I suddenly realized that I cannot recall the last time I built a model and hand-brush-painted it without any regard for taping off lines and otherwise struggling for overall near-perfection that I'd never reach.

When I got back into aviation models about ten years ago, a friend of mine inspired me to putty and sand seams, etc.  Until that point, I hadn't even worried about that unless they were real canyons.  

I can remember as a kid, hand-brush-painting those old MPC's, AMT's and Matchbox kits.  I built those warped old Revell B-17's and B-24's and never even bothered to paint them as I thought the molded plastic was sheer perfection.

I can practically still smell the old Testors gloss blue enamel bottle paint I hand-brush-painted some old 1:72 Corsair with.  I worked at one of those folding card-tables in my bedroom.  Only tools I had were a couple of Testors nylon paintbrushes and an old kitchen paring knife that my mom was going to throw out.

The point is: I had a blast back then.  Way more fun than I have now, in fact. Flying model kits around the low-rent home we lived in during the 70's while the model paint was still wet.  Decals were optional.  Had to paint those little MPC ground crew guys in garish colors that would make the Joker cringe 'cause all I had were hand-me-down paints from my older brothers who built only car and truck models.  White faces because I did not know that any company made a "flesh" colored paint for model-building.

Now, each model is an uphill battle as my personal standards and expectations get increasingly tighter and more critical.  While I do attempt to meet the challenge head-on, the hobby can feel like a second job at times.

Trust me: I'm not complaining.  I realize I'm damned fortunate to live in a setting where I have the time and means to explore something as luxurious as a hobby represents.

But I'm also acutely aware that I have definitely lost something.  Some former carefree sense that used to come while slapping together a kit without any concern for quality or critique for the sheer pleasure of getting it done so I could fly it around the townhomes.  And I truly miss that.

There seems to be no going back, either.  I even tried Leigh's one-week group build last year and got bogged down because I could not leave the Matchbox kits I had chosen for the quick build without extensive puttying and sanding to "correct" seamlines.  And in this context, I mean "could not" as in obsessive compulsive disorder.

My past painting/drawing/sculpting art endeavors went the same direction---to the point where any inspiration to create was overwhelmed by the perfectionist's obsession over trying to be flawless.

Am I nuts?  Am I the only one who's ever noticed this?  Is there a cure?  I don't mind the uphill grind of striving to always better my last model but I sure do miss the early, sheer fun of the hobby I experienced as a kid...

[retro_seventies]

My past painting/drawing/sculpting art endeavors went the same direction---to the point where any inspiration to create was overwhelmed by the perfectionist's obsession over trying to be flawless.

yes yes yes yes YES.

sometimes it's the worst thing in the world that:

need for creation to be perfect > fun to be had creating it


i thought that it was just me...comfortably 50 canvasses of unfinished paintings that "just aren't right" but that look just fine to everybody else.  Not a single finished model since i moved to the states, let alone joined this bunch of miscreants.  The only thing that i seem to get finished are pen and ink drawings because they are done before i have time to over analyse and doubt and pick them apart.

not that i don't enjoy what i do, i DO, i REALLY do, but somehow, if it's not perfect then it's not worth showing anyone, or not worth finishing.

*sigh*

is it perfection or self doubt?

overly critical, or just thinking too much?

i'm not sure with me, and as for each of you, only you know for yourselves what you feel....i know that the models that i see from every single person on this site look wonderful to me.

wow.

this sounds too much like therapy.

maybe i should go and sand something....    

[Brian da Basher]

You know this does sound a lot like therapy. Actually, building models is my preferred brand of therapy. I can totally understand getting bogged down by that whole "quality" thing. Mind you, it's never happened to me building models but when I tackle "fine art" projects.

Here's how I think about it. Despite my best efforts, all of my builds are just a little off. There's always something just not right about each and every one of them. I try not to think about that. After all, it's just a model! Even if I would be able to finish one with 100% perfection, it wouldn't mean a hill of beans in the larger scope of things. The whole point of doing this for me is to relax, have some fun and see some of my unusual ideas take on physical shape. I'm not out to win contests or impress anyone. If my wacky projects inspire others or make them think then that's icing on the cake!

Baz, if I were you, I'd get a cheap $5 kit. I'd purposely limit myself to simply assembling it and maybe painting and decaling it and leave it at that. I'd swear off trying to correct any seams or panel lines. Try to do it just for the sake of the enjoyment and not worry so much about the result. I guarantee you'll end up with something you can still use for sorties around your living room.

Brian da Basher

[Leigh]

I can remember as a kid, hand-brush-painting those old MPC's, AMT's and Matchbox kits.  I built those warped old Revell B-17's and B-24's and never even bothered to paint them as I thought the molded plastic was sheer perfection.


The point is:

That you're not a kid anymore.

I think we were all the same way as kids but a big part of that was we didn't know there was any other way, and we had never experienced what we could do with some time and effort.

I know I feel a sense of awe and pride when I look at something that came out how I wanted it to and looks pretty damn good to me, it's totally different from how I felt as a kid. Then it was more the action of building and dare I say it play, than the end result, and though I look back at those days with rose coloured glasses I also know I wouldn't be satisfied with the result if I built in the same manner today although the building process would be fun.

My downfall is often the kits I choose to build, and though I've got a ton of quality kits that would probably fall together without too much need for any extras I seem to be saving them for what I don't know and all I seem to build are Matchbox, Monogram, Airfix or some monstrous bash of multuple kits that take forever.

I have found myself going back to rattle cans though as airbrushes and me don't seem to get on too well and that's fun.

Though the few Arii and Academy kits I have built that have gone together beautifully and easily have brought back some of that fun speed build stuff of being a kid.

No your not nuts and is there a cure? I dunno but I think if you actually enjoy what you're doing at the moment so what if it take three months to close up a fuselage?
If it's a chore then don't do it. Try a quick and simple build with a quality kit, not two Matchbox Phantoms that demand upgrading but a 1/48 Spitfire straight from the box. Try summat different like armour or a car. Go fishing. Build a bird house.

[BlackOps]

Crazy? No, an Inspiration? Yes, but never lose site of the fact your supposed to enjoy a hobby.  Do you get pleasure from the finished build? or do you just see glaring imperfections?

I try to do my best but I am very low on patience sometimes, If I can't finish a build reasonably quick the chances are I won't finish at all.

I sometimes cut corners or let some things go when I'm building, I always see something I wish I had done differently but I think we all do but at a certain point you have to call it done. I am willing to overlook some flaws simply because I WANT to complete the build. Most of the time you are the only one who will notice it anyway.

On the other hand I have certainly tried new things good and bad but you can usually work something out.

I love the fact there are so many folks here to share with, I think sharing is a great deal of the fun and I know everyone in the group loves your builds  

Barry if Tophe can build a plane with a cockpit I think you can let a few imagined flaws go by  

Jeff G.

[nev]

Thing is Barry, you are one of, if not the, most talented modellers on this website.

Your creations serve as an inspiration to us all, and from a purely selfish point of view, I wouldn't want that to change

But like Leigh sez, you're not a kid anymore, if you were to build a model and not fill in the seams it would look horrible, and you wouldn't be happy with it.

And your choices for quick builds are terrible!  Matchbox Phantom?  

You need a nice, modern kit that goes together well and has a simple colour scheme, whiff or not.  Say, Tamiyas F-117.  Or a Tamiya P-47D, or the Revell 1/72 P-51B.

And at the end of the day, as I've said before, I'm pretty certain you enjoy scratchbuilding little deelies out of plasticard and assorted bits of junk, simply because you do so much of it!

[Gary]

"When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things."

We grow, but if you ask my wife, becasue I "play models" I am still a child. I gathered as many Matchbox kits as I could and began building reciently, but fell into the smae trap. My son was offered them, but wanted his Matchbox to be as finished as mine. I tried to get him to try on his own, but he wanted to have the same finished product as me and got frustraited and gave up.

It's as hard to build your first model and make it "perfect" as it is to let go and get back to the zen of modelling.  

[gooberliberation]

Heres what I do if I get the feeling that things are getting too serious...

As soon as I have an airframe securely glued together, and whenever there isnt paint, glue, or putty drying, I take it for a spin... ya know, shoot down some enemies, strafing runs, touch and go landings.

And yes, with sound effects

HSSSSSSSSSSSZOOOOOOOOM!!!
RATATATATATATATATAT
FFFFT BOOOM!

Heh, it keeps things in perspective.

 If ya dont do that already, give it a try. If it doesnt work, at least itd entertain the family.

[Sisko]

Goober yes I have been known to walk around my house going whoosh and boom as my latest model takes out the enemy.

My wife looks at the 36 year ol man she married and goes, gee what a catch!!!!!

John being perfectionist is not a problem if in the end you are happy with what you have created. You manage to scratch and bash the most amazing creations and because you spend so much time on them is the reason that they are so amazing.

Would you want to give up the opportunity to create something original just for the quick gratification of finishing something quickly.................. I don't think so.

I mean 1/46th scale trainer from a 1/72 scale mistel come one who else thinks like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Rat]

White faces because I did not know that any company made a "flesh" colored paint for model-building.

That's okay, call them The Republic of Albinonia Air Force!  

I hear ya Baz, I've become the same, obsessing over little things until the only thing that stops me is my lack of skill. It's a fight to just say 'good enough for the girl I go with' and get something finished. But this board helps a lot, if myself and some others tried to get up to the standards on some other boards we would chuck it all and take up scrapbooking or something. Here, everyone is helpful and appreciative, and we're the better for it!    B)  

[Alvis 3.1]

Oh no! The Curse of AMS* is upon you! You've hit upon the solution, in building something quck and easy, but like others here, I'd go for something thats more user friendly. That said..it's your hobby, and if you want to take 3 months to (Section deleted due to Alvis Secrecy rule 25201), and be happy with the result, then you're enjoying the hobby.

And yes....you've done some stupendous work here...that is undeniable...and it's because you do good work!

Alvis 3.1




*Advanced Modeller's Syndrome

[Eddie M.]

I feel your pain.   Like it was stated before, get yourself a high end model and slap it together. My case in point? I did a 1/72 F-20 that all I did was paint the anti glare panel (w/ a brush), gear and seat. You'd be surprise how well it comes out. Doing the panel lines was super easy when you don't have to worry about the paint, clear coat,etc, ad nauseum... Mind you, some of my "short and easy" builds took longer that expected, but not as long as ...say... my KC/B-17. I'm putting the clear coat on my B.A. SuperHornet today and that will make it about a month build. Light speed for me. You want motivation? Act like you're building one for my son. Chances are that it will end up with some damage( He's 4 ^_^ ) and you wouldn't want to spend a whole lot of time on something like that. After I tried to figure out how I was going  to mask all the junk on my F-18/104, I said screw it and brush painted it. No harm, no foul. Take a cue from some of our more prolific builders and just do it. Also, stop yourself from doing add ons after you've started a build. That kills me. I had to stop myself from dropping the flaps on my Hogzilla.  Or, go build a tank. No body pays attention to those things...       Just kidding you crazy armor guys Now, go build something, maybe even work on your secret project.    
   Eddie      

[Svaz]

I'm there with ya'll. For example, I'm currently working on a box-scale Revell DC-3 - utter junk fit and detail wise, completely toy-like, but cheap. Cheap because I plan on abandoning this kit, literally. When it is done I'm leaving it at my father's grave site (he always wanted to be a pilot (too) but bombing or shooting people just wasn't his style) where I'm sure it will be stolen or thrown away by the staff in a matter of days, if that long.

Nevertheless, I keep obsessing about seams, cowling shapes, window shapes, cargo door shapes, over-sized rivets, ad naseum ... I have to keep reminding myself that I'll never see this again and no one will ever critique me for the way I built it (least of all dad, eh?).

Oh what a tangled web is at hand when we first learn to putty and sand ...    

[kkarkrazy]

It's been said, we are our own worst critic.
When I get in this type of "funk", I'll abandon model building all together, or build something totally unrelated to what I normally build. I won't do any research, get prototypical pictures or anything, just build it and try and make it look presentable. If it isn't perfect, oh well, neither is life for that matter.
One other point I have found is that, looking and admiring another builders work is great for inspiration, but I've found to try and not emulate that build. I'll do my best, but I understand my talents, or lack thereof, and govern myself accordingly. Am I a happy modeller, you bet. Are my builds perfect? No way! It's only plastic, and I'm not getting ulcers over it.
KKK

[Radish]

Baz, just build something good and easy from Tamiya.
The trouble is, they're not your type of subject being mostly WW2, and the nice Hasegawa modern stuff often has a few nasty problems.

I build for sheer pleasure.....I'm not that bothered even on a REAL thing if colours, details aren't just "so"....it's my model so stuff 'em.

I DO know how you feel though. I went through a period when I felt everything had to be detailed, weathered, decalled and finished to the bestest most suitable for a competition standard. But I always (or nearly always) never got a look in. I realised "I'm just a so-so" modeller, am happy with that, and have fun.

You're problem, Baz, is you're so fantastically creative!
Just "go with the flow" a bit, have fun.
If there's a seem, slap some plastic card over it, or a bit of sprue or even half a fuel tank.
Crappy cockpit? Tarpaulin over it.
Just relax.